Feeling Overwhelmed? You Might Not Realise How Much You're Carrying

By Penelope Silver | The Reiki One, Alderley Edge

You know that feeling when you've got so much going on that you don't even know where to start?

Work needs you. Your family needs you. Someone wants an answer, someone else has a problem, and there's a never-ending list of things that apparently only you can sort out.

And somehow, you keep going.

You get up, go to work, look after everybody, get things done and generally keep the wheels turning.

So you must be coping, right?

Well, maybe.

But something I've noticed over my 20 years of practising Reiki is that people don't always realise how overwhelmed they are until they finally stop and start talking.

And sometimes that realisation happens right here in my treatment room in Alderley Edge.

When being overwhelmed becomes your normal

One of the things I find fascinating about people is how much we can get used to.

You can have a demanding job, a family to look after, relationships that need attention and a hundred other responsibilities, and somehow it all becomes just another ordinary Tuesday.

You don't necessarily think of yourself as stressed.

You might even quite enjoy being busy.

But perhaps you're waking in the middle of the night with your mind already working through tomorrow's jobs.

Maybe you're permanently tired, despite making an effort to get enough sleep.

Or you find yourself sitting down to relax, only to pick up your phone because you can't bear to do nothing.

And sometimes it's not even that.

Sometimes you just feel a bit flat.

Not particularly happy, not particularly sad. Just not quite yourself.

I've met people who are incredibly capable and successful, who manage businesses, families and all sorts of responsibilities, but struggle to find even an hour when nobody needs something from them.

And I've met people who aren't especially busy on paper, but are carrying an enormous amount emotionally.

That's why I never assume I understand somebody's life simply by looking at them.

Why I call it my Wholistic Wellbeing Questionnaire

Before your first Reiki Experience, we sit down and have a proper conversation.

I call it my Wholistic Wellbeing Questionnaire.

Yes, with a W.

Because I want to understand the whole of you.

I ask about your sleep, what you eat, how you spend your days, your work, your relationships, your responsibilities and what's happening in your life.

Not because I'm being nosy!

Because I believe it all fits together.

If you're struggling to sleep, I want to understand what else is going on.

If you're feeling exhausted, I'm interested in how much you're doing, what you're worrying about and whether you're finding any time for yourself.

If you're feeling disconnected, I want to know what that actually means to you.

And sometimes, as we're talking, something shifts.

Someone who arrived saying they just wanted a bit of relaxation starts describing everything they've had to deal with recently.

A person who initially says they're not particularly stressed begins listing the things they're responsible for.

Or someone who describes feeling tired realises that what they really miss is feeling like themselves.

I don't mean that every conversation turns into some enormous emotional revelation. Plenty don't.

But I've learnt not to underestimate the importance of giving somebody time to talk.

And you never have to tell me anything you don't want to share.

The question I ask everybody

At the end of my Wholistic Wellbeing Questionnaire, I ask something that sounds incredibly simple:

"What are your top three emotions of the day?"

You'd be surprised how difficult that can be to answer.

We're quite good at telling people what we've done today.

We're often very good at telling them what we still need to do.

But when was the last time somebody actually asked you to stop and think about how you're feeling?

Not how you think you should feel.

Not how everybody expects you to feel.

How you feel today.

And sometimes there's more than one answer.

You can be grateful for your family and absolutely exhausted by the responsibilities that come with it.

You can love your work and still feel completely overwhelmed by it.

You can be excited about a new chapter in your life and frightened of what it might bring.

None of those feelings cancels out the others.

For me, those three emotions are also part of how I personalise your treatment, including the essential oils I select, with your preferences and sensitivities taken into account.

But first and foremost, I want to hear your answer.

Sometimes you don't need another person telling you what to do

There's a particular kind of tiredness that comes from being the person everybody turns to.

The organiser. The problem-solver. The one who remembers everything.

And when you're used to being that person, switching off isn't always easy.

Even if somebody tells you to relax, you might not know how.

That's something I understand personally.

There was a period of my life when I had so much going on that I genuinely couldn't see the wood for the trees.

I was raising my children, dealing with an incredibly difficult divorce and trying to manage one crisis after another.

I felt trapped and vulnerable, even though I kept finding ways to get through each day.

Having Reiki regularly gave me something I desperately needed at the time.

An hour when I wasn't responsible for solving anything.

Someone else was looking after me.

It didn't make my circumstances disappear. I still had the same responsibilities when I walked out of the room.

But having that space mattered to me.

And it's a big part of why I practise Reiki the way I do today.

Because I know what it's like to be the one holding everything together.

What happens when you finally give yourself permission to stop?

When you come for your first 90-minute Reiki Experience, the conversation is only the beginning.

After we've talked, I'll help you get comfortable on my heated treatment bed, with pillows and blankets arranged how you like them.

I begin with a warm foot ritual and my own guided meditation, designed to help you settle before the Reiki treatment itself.

I explain what I'm going to do, and we agree on whether you're comfortable with hands-on treatment.

Then, for a little while, there's nothing you need to do.

You don't have to concentrate on anything.

You don't have to produce the right emotional response.

You don't have to have a spiritual experience, see colours or feel energy moving around your body.

And you certainly don't have to make conversation.

Some people become very quiet.

Some drift off to sleep.

Some notice warmth or other sensations, while others simply enjoy lying there without being disturbed.

And some people find it takes a little while to settle, particularly if they're not used to having time to themselves.

That's absolutely fine.

Reiki is a complementary practice, and experiences vary. Research into its effects is still limited, so I wouldn't promise it will remove your stress or fix what's happening in your life.

What I can offer is a comfortable, thoughtfully personalised experience and time that belongs entirely to you.

Quite frankly, I think having somebody look after you for a change can be rather lovely.

You don't have to be at breaking point to have Reiki

This is something I feel very strongly about.

I don't think looking after yourself should be reserved for the point where you've completely run out of steam.

Why wait until you're utterly exhausted before deciding you deserve a little attention?

I believe in preventative wellbeing.

For some people, that means coming for Reiki during a particularly difficult period.

For others, it means finding a regular rhythm, perhaps monthly, so they've got something in the diary that's just for them.

And for somebody else, a single appointment might be exactly what they want.

When clients ask me how often they should come, I'll make a recommendation based on what they've told me and my experience as a practitioner.

But it's always their choice.

I've written more about this in How Often Should You Have Reiki? Once, Weekly or Monthly?

What if you're not even sure what's wrong?

That's all right too.

You don't have to arrive with a perfectly worded explanation.

You don't have to decide whether what you're feeling counts as stress, overwhelm, exhaustion or something else.

Maybe all you know is that you've not been feeling quite yourself.

We can start there.

My job isn't to tell you who you are or what your life should look like.

It's to listen, understand as much of the whole picture as you're comfortable sharing, and give you an experience that's personal to you.

I want you to leave feeling seen, heard and held.

That's what I mean when I describe my Reiki Experience as a hug for your soul.

And if you fall asleep and snore halfway through?

I'll take that as a compliment.

What are you carrying?

Here's something I'd love you to think about.

When was the last time you really stopped and considered everything you're carrying?

Not just your to-do list.

I'm talking about the worries, responsibilities, expectations, emotions and all those little things that take up space in your head.

Because sometimes we become so used to carrying it all that we forget how heavy it is.

That's why I created What Are You Carrying?, a little reflective quiz on my website.

It's an opportunity to take a few moments for yourself and think about what's going on beneath the surface.

You might surprise yourself.

Explore What Are You Carrying?

And if you'd like somebody to look after you for a change...

I'm Penelope Silver, a Reiki Master with around 20 years of experience, practising at One Inner Beauty Studio in Alderley Edge, Cheshire.

I welcome clients from Wilmslow, Bramhall, Cheadle and the surrounding areas.

Your first appointment is my 90-minute Reiki Experience, which gives us time for the Wholistic Wellbeing Questionnaire and your personalised treatment.

If you're wondering what that first appointment involves, I've explained it in What Happens During Your First Reiki Session? Let Me Put Your Mind at Rest.

Or, if you're ready to make a little time for yourself, you can book your Reiki Experience here.

You don't have to wait until everything else is sorted.

Because, let's face it, when is that ever going to happen?

Put your soul in good hands.

Penelope x